The Giving of Thanks

A little bit late on the Thanksgiving musings this year.  I hope it was grand for all of you.  We spent the day at Jean's (thank you Jean for a wonderful feast!) but Amy couldn't come home and we missed her company.  The weather was glorious in this neck of the woods, for which I am very grateful.

Which brings me to the general point of this post.  I'd been thinking a great deal about Giving Thanks.  I came across this article in a recent NY Times (perhaps you read it yourself already): A Serving of Gratitude May Save the Day. Who couldn't continue to read an article that states "A new study shows that feeling grateful makes people less likely to turn aggressive when provoked, which helps explain why so many borthers-in-law survive Thanksgiving without serious injury." (this doesn't apply to anyone I know personally of course). 

But I don't want to be passive about giving thanks.  I feel like it should be more than sharing prayers around the dinner table.  Demonstrating gratitude usually requires deeper consideration of those things for which I am thankful.  So when I consciously choose to park further away from the store entrance so that closer parking spots can be available to those who need them more than I do, I feel like it demonstrates my gratitude for being physically comfortable walking a few extra feet.  When I clean snow off cars in the parking lot after work, I hope this pays itself forward as many times as necessary to get a returned favor out there to someone who really needs it.  Since Facebook says it's not six degrees of separation, it's only 4.74 degrees--paying it forward should take significantly less time these days!  Gratitude and thanks will take much less time to find their way back to you in this case.

So I guess, for me at least, it really is those small everyday acts that should be foremost in our minds as the holidays roll up and over us like some kind of runaway SUV.  And despite this wordy post recommending otherwise, please allow me say Thank You to each of you for reading these posts and supporting my efforts to share.

And one other thing to be thankful for:  Last Day of November Rainbow

Another cousin story for you

I believe I've shared what I have discovered so far about Marguerite (Innocencia) Coffarelli, your grandfather James' oldest sister.  She married Marco Disabto (or Disabato) and they lived for a time with her father John.  Her husband died around 1924 leaving her with 8 children (so far).  I continue to work on her story especially trying to determine when she died and where she is buried.  She may have died around 1950, but I don't have that confirmed yet. 

This afternoon I decided to take this task on just to see what came up, and--boy, did it pay off with a very interesting story.

This soldier is a cousin to your mother and her brother Uncle Johnny.  After he died and was awarded a Purple Heart and Silver Star, his mother waited FIVE long years before he was returned to native soil.

This article makes it seem as though this was kind of normal procedure although today it seems pretty appalling and cruel.  But I think that reflects the cultural attitude of the mid forties during wartime.  The papers are full of enthusiastic articles such as this one (which kind of breaks my 2011 heart)

These articles are full of tidbits of information I think I might be able to use to round out the story of this Disabto family.  The first thing I did after discovering this new surname was to check you mother's old address book, but I saw no one with this name so I'm wondering if this was truly a lost branch of the family.  You all would know better than I, but I figure if there's no one in her address book with that surname, then she plain did not know about them.  Anyhow, I have lots of juicy new clues to follow and you have new war hero cousin to read about. 

Happy Thanksgiving and safe travel to all!

For Labor Day this year, I wrote a piece about the loss of an historic tree on campus.  I also noted "It was necessary to take the tree down and I thought I would be one of a few "old timers" distressed by this but I was wrong!  Recently graduated students put up a Facebook page mourning the passing of this tree! I was very surprised by their reaction.  It took taking that tree down for me to know there are other (younger generation) people who cared about it too.  I think that discovery will help overcome my feeling of loss.  There will be something out of place about that hole in the front yard, but I take comfort in knowing I"m not alone in missing the great tree." 

The "recently graduated student" who made the Facebook Group  RIP The Harpursville Tree: 1426-2011  died in a car crash this past weekend.  He had been visiting his sister Abby in Geneseo and had just left to return to school at RIT when the accident occurred.  No alcohol, drugs or excessive speed involved.  Just one of those tragic accidents you read about but don't think too hard about until it hits home. 

The entire family are close friends of ours.  Abby and Ryan are very tight.  This has hit us hard.  We are struggling.  It's tragically ironic that Dan, a 21 year old Eagle Scout engineering student, put together this Facebook group about this tree because creating a Facebook group was on his bucket list.  And now they are both gone and there are huge holes left behind.  I wonder if he would be surprised at the impact his short life has made on so many adults in our community.  I understood taking the tree.  I don't understand this and I know I"m not meant to. 

So, I guess I'm sharing this with you all as yet another reminder to hug the ones you love as often as you can. 

Empty Nest Take 2

We are nearing the end of our first Empty Nest Take 2 weekend!  And it's all a little disorienting.  My sister found a job in Binghamton as well as an apartment, so we moved her this week.  So James and I are starting over mostly having only one another for company.  Unless Ryan calls at the last minute to bring home two friends for dinner and some paint-balling (that was yesterday).  Like the Aladdin song: "It's a Whole New World"--he's shampooing the rugs as I am writing this!!

The time change is welcome but is also a little disorienting at first.  I spent the entire day reading the entire book What Alice Forgot.  It's about a woman who gets knocked in the head and loses 10 years of her memory.  It's been too long since I've read a book from start to finish in just a day or two.  And it made me think a great deal about what was going on in my life 10 years ago and what has changed in the meantime.  Again, disorienting.

We went to an auction Friday night and brought home some ephemera that intrigued me.  I have had a wish that someday I would "rescue" pictures or family documents and return them to a family member interested in them.  Going through the various letters, dance cards and pictures has introduced me to Howard Evans who served with the Marines during World War I as well as being a member of the Hamilton College Glee Club.  I think I have enough information in the material we bought at auction to formulate a little story about Howard and perhaps find some descendant family members.  Most of the material is from the early part of the 1900s up through 1935 or so.  More disorientation as to time and place but in a really fun way (for me).  There's some really neat stuff in these boxes to entertain both James and I. 

So, to bring you to mid 20th century; here's your great grandmother's (Grandma Jennie) obituary and death notice from November 12 1953:

Just Perfect

Happy Birthday Ryan.  He's saying good bye to his teenage years and hello to young adulthood as a college student:  20 years old!  The snow storm this weekend brought to mind the year of the "no-name storm".  In 1993, Amy's March birthday party AND Ryan's October birthday party had to be postponed due to excessive off season snow storms.  So, the late October snow storm is a little unusual, but perhaps not as unusual as the media would lead us to believe this week.

Besides Ryan's birth, another historic event was occurring twenty years ago:  The Perfect Storm.  I'm sure you've heard of it especially as the story was told in the movie starring George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg.  This image is from wunderground.com weather site depicting the story by radar and satellite.
At the time, I was blissfully unaware such drama was unfolding in my ancestral hometown, but now everyone knows about The Perfect Storm even to the extent that it's become a term to describe the unlikely blending of several unfortunate circumstances.

When I saw the movie, I felt as though I was indeed in Gloucester again--they seemed to really get the culture right.  Sebastian Junger authored the well known book which I understand describes drowning in stormy sea waters very accurately.  I don't know about that, but I do know that when I read it, I could barely breathe.  He got that part right for this reader!  I was particularly interested as a number of my seafaring ancestors suffered such a fate and I cannot imagine it.

It appears the Ryan family once owned Cape Pond Ice, whose gear is prominently featured in that movie.  I'm working on the details but James and I met a new Ryan cousin while in Gloucester last weekend and he gave us this lead I am currently following.  The movie rejuvenated Cape Pond Ice in very interesting ways, according to the tour guide.  And it all comes together (for me) with Ryan's birth!   How "cool" is that! :)

Step Back with me

I found a wonderful new time-waster in the form of a website that has TONS of old newspaper articles largely from New York State and have been spending way too much time enthralled by my finds.  I thought you'd be interested, so go get a cup of tea and step back with me.  I think you're going to love these! (especially the Ruskas!!)

This appeared in the Long Island City Star Journal Thursday July 29 1948

Angela's; Jim's; Marguerite's and Jean's grandfather Sapienza.  This appeared in the Lond Island Star Journal Sat Oct 26 1963

This is the wedding announcement for Madeline Manzelli and Joseph Basile published in the Long Island City Star Journal Mon Aug 26 1940--wedding trip to Lake George!

The big one that got away from the Manzelli boys as described in the Nov 7 1939 Long Island City Star Journal.  It's a special find to discover an article in which your ancestors are quoted.

Don't say I didn't warn you.  Enjoy.

Many of you have read this or heard about it already, but I thought you might enjoy reading some of it at your leisure.  It's from one of Amy's senior essays so it's 6 years old now but no less true:

As I get out of the car I almost trip and fall flat on my face because my feet fell asleep and my legs are so cramped from the 5 hour car ride.  In my head I am thinking I am about to be attacked by 28 short Italian relatives. That means 28 hugs, 28 kisses on the cheek, 28 "Oh look at you, you're all grown up!" and 28 people all talking at the same time, asking you how your life is going.  That would be my dad's side of the family, or as you will get to know them: the Dalpiaz side.

On the other had, you have my mom's side.  These are the Ryans.  On the scale of relatives (not like there is one, but I just made it up), they are on complete opposite ends.  The trip to the Ryans is usually about an hour (less the way my dad drives but that is besides the point).  When we get there, 16 people sitting around, on the couch, the chairs or the ground and they just kind of acknowledge you and go back to what there were talking about before.  

The essay goes on with some additional examples of the differences between the families.  She wasn't wrong and it occurred to me that it's very much in line with how my family history research goes.  Your Italians (every single one an Italian--if you ignore the Austrian border business) generally have a well documented history.  The stories told by your parents and your aunts and uncles are full of specific details and always check out as accurately told.  Your immediate ancestors generally lived in urban areas opening up all kinds of areas for study.  Records exist and are available.It's a "piece of cake" compared to the Irish.

The Irish in my family are the majority but we also have one stray German and one English family to trace.  Irish records are notoriously difficult and lacking in availability.  My immediate ancestors lived in rural areas except for all the fishermen in Gloucester Massachusetts.  The Irish aren't always so forthcoming with those details so eagerly sought by people like me.  And the stories....well, let me just say I don't write them down in pen.


As a result, I've developed a wide range of research skills which have served me well in many other areas of my life as well.  In the past, I have also noted that James and I grew up differently but also the same in many ways.  This has also served me well!

This seems like a good time to "confess" that my year of birth isn't listed correctly on the family information sheet.  I was born in 1956 so I'm a year older than some of you realized.  I will be 55 on my birthday--I'm calling it my Emancipation Day.  Those of you who teach or work in state government know that turning 55 is the magic key to retirement.  I'm not planning to retire immediately but it will be nice to go to work each day making the conscious choice to be there.  And my first choice will be to take a long weekend in the home of my paternal ancestors Gloucester MA!