What a Messa!

Sorry about that title but I don't know how else to say it!  I will now demonstrate (once again) how I get off track so quickly.  As you know, I've spent lots of time trying to find all the siblings of your grandfather James Coffarelli.  I've decided it's time for a new Italian focus and I settled on the Messa family.  This post WAS going to focus on aunts and uncles:  Aunt Rose and Aunt Josie in particular. I began by looking at my notes from various visits with them and I noticed several facts shared about the Messa family.  I realized there is a great deal there to learn.  And so it has begun.  And so far, it's kind of a mess.

From Rose Messa Jozwicki's journal as shared by Aunt Rose "in memory of the Messa family" : During that time my father's (your great grandfather Jacob Messa) younger brother Onofrio wanted to come to America with his wife.  My father sent them the money.  

This record seems to indicate Onofrio arrived in New York from Naples with his wife Teresa December 1920.  Francesco and Marie's names are crossed off apparently indicating they did not make this trip with Onofrio.

Continuing the story told by Rose Messa Jozwicki:  "They came and lived with us (for we had a very big house). Several months went by and everything was fine.  Then father had an argument with his brother so he then made his own home.  After that, father sent money to Italy for another brother names Frank to come to Ohio.  They came, it was then our whole life changed."

Ellis Island records showed me that Francesco, his wife Marie and his daughter Marie (then 5 months old) arrived August 1921. 

"By this time, he was through building so my Uncle Frank moved in.  He wasn't there not even amonth when father was accusing him of many things which I will not write about.  They told him to get out, but for spite he would not go.  Then more trouble came and father would go more with this woman than with his own brother.  They went to court and Uncle Frank had to move out.  They were enemies and never spoke to each other again."

Frank and his family apparently moved to New York.  I am unclear on what Onofrio did.  Your great grandfather Jake never made it to New York as far as I know.  Aunt Josie said Onofrio was a barber with a "nasty wife" and the family didn't see these children very often.  There was also a sister Teresa who married but had no children, according to Josie.  It appeared to me that Onofrio's "nasty wife" was also named Teresa so there's lots of opportunity for confusion. 

My research so far seems to indicate there is more than one Frank Messa married to a Marie (brings Franks and Marie Barone of Everybody Loves Raymond to my mind!).  The guy I think is the "other" Frank is only a couple of years older than "your" Frank so I am treading very carefully in this research. 

Which bring me to the Induddi name.  Anyone recognize this name?  It would be helpful to know if you do.
I came across this intriguing tidbit:

This is from the Long Island City Star Journal January 7 1947.  From what I have learned so far, I think this Marie Messa daughter of Frank is the infant Marie in the earlier ship's record.  I conclude from this that Frank Messa (your great grand uncle) was still alive in 1947 but wife Marie had perhaps died.  Further, your Frank Messa was in Long Island City near his sister-in-law Catherine Contenta Messa.  Perhaps the cousin Larry is one of Onofrio's children rarely seen--that is yet to be determined!  Marie did have a brother Louis (though there are plenty of Louis Messas to further confuse matters and hinder final determination of their relationship to you). 

In my effort to determine if this is your Messa family, I searched for Dominick Induddi, for once feeling quite smug since that is a rather unique name.  And look what pops up almost immediately;

Such a cute mug to be listed in an obituary since this 93 year old died in June of 2011 leaving his wife of 65 years Marie behind!  Can you believe it?  I believe this is the couple noted in the above wedding announcement but I'm not ready to be certain because (and this is hard to swallowZ) there is ANOTHER Dominic Induddi who died in 2011 husband of Nancy.  How is this even possible?  Cute mug Dominic above did not have a son named after him so I can't even begin to sort that out until I spend some additional time with the various Louis, Frank and Marie Messa family members.  Onofrio, wherefore art thou?

Any help appreciated.  Back to the drawing board. 

July 4th in Bellair Beach

Although it was a shortened trip, we did have a very nice time with Kathleen and Nick over the July 4th holiday.  We left Binghamton very early that morning and were surprised at how many others had the same idea that we did!  I guess that the since the holiday fell on a Thursday, perhaps that made it easier to make a long weekend out of it for travelers. 

Regardless, our favorite Bellair Beach Limo Service "Rao-At-Your-Service" picked us up so we could begin our holiday.  Almost immediately, we jumped into the pool (of course); had a couple of drinks and got caught up.  The Tampa area has had rain in excessive quantities same as most of us have had these last couple of weeks so we weren't surprised by a sudden strong storm that blew up almost out of nowhere. 

The storm knocked out the power, so we amused ourselves by playing "What's in Your Wallet?" I've been after James for a long time about his George Costanza style stuffed wallet but this was validated at the airport security line by the officer that said "Wow, this is heavy!" when she hoisted James' wallet into the bin.  So we took the opportunity to play the new game and the three of us passed judgement on what James did or did not need in his wallet.  Then each of us showed our own.  (Wallet).  I am pretty sure James squirreled away his wallet detritus for later re-packing. 

Nick cooked on the grill for our July 4th dinner feast and noticed some new unknown droppings underneath one of their plants.  I declined the generous offer to take a look and see if they seemed to be from a species familiar to me.  But it continued to bug Nick because he'd clean it up and it would return. 

I was looking forward to some awesome fireworks and I was not disappointed.  There was a light sprinkle but the "show must go on" and there were formal and informal fireworks on all sides.  I was looking forward to testing some of my new photography knowledge on the fireworks and had plenty of opportunity to practice!  It was epic and I threatened Nick and Kathleen that we may return next July 4th to enjoy the spectacular.  It was setting up to be a memorable weekend.

I selected these from the nearly 100 that I took for your review.  I think they are decent for a first effort. I was glad to have Nick's help.





The mystery of the droppings was solved the day after we left under close observation (very close apparently) and here's the offender:

Whew!  Mystery solved!

New Normal

I think you've heard that our friend Ron died last week while we were with Kathleen and Nick.  The fact that I don't have to explain who Ron is speaks to the huge influence he's had on our lives.  I'm not finding words adequate for this.  But of course that's not going to stop me here.

Ron's memorial is tonight and I plan to speak.  Not an easy task when you don't have appropriate verbiage to properly express thoughts.  Another friend who can't attend sent me her thoughts and it is titled What Would Ron Do?.  Mine incorporates common Ron-response: Wait!....What? Sigh.  Shake head. 

Some of his actions had us laughing and others could be irritating.  That's life in close proximity.  As Amy stated, it never would even throw her off to awaken in the morning to find him seated at our kitchen table having coffee.  Even if we weren't there.  Especially if we weren't there.  Ryan was never very surprised to be shaken out of bed by Ron.  Our guests would have to come to terms with this other adult having complete access to our home at nearly any time of day--though most regularly about 30 minutes after he'd had his breakfast at the diner.  Then he'd make his most reliable rest stop on the way to his house...our downstairs bathroom.  Wait!  What?  Sigh.  Shake head.

One day I came home from work to find his backhoe in my yard.  He'd removed our old oil tank (yeah) and then decided we needed a garden in its place.  So he proceeded to create a garden.  And hand me the bill.  Always something discounted from Lowe's.  Wait! What?  Sigh.  Shake head.

Another time Amy tested positive for strep and was required to stay home for 2 days.  Ron was recovering from surgery and offered to stay at the house with her so I could go to work.  I accepted gratefully.  When I got home, I discovered he'd washed my kitchen floor.  Wait!  What?  Sigh.  Shake head.

Just a few days ago, he left a broken tombstone at my house.  Wait!  What?  Sigh.  Shake head.  Less said about that, the better.

And literally hundreds of similar moments filled the years since I met him 34 years ago.  It's a huge loss.  It feels like something really big came to an abrupt halt.  A way of life.  A certain work ethic.  A particular kind of community living.  My own work life.  Damn him.  I know he prepared well for this eventuality but being prepared doesn't always equate being ready. I find peace in the fact that he died actively working on his farm. A good death if there is such a thing.

But it's a "new normal" I guess.  I Googled the term just for fun as I was contemplating this post.  Nothing positive came up as a "new normal":  search results included megafires, lawlessness, mass unemployment and the like.  Se we'll move forward with a hole in our hearts and the knowledge that we were very fortunate indeed in this lifetime.

 1996 Summer party--Ron right behind Ryan and Amy

 Just a few weeks ago.  June 15 2013

 1994

 2001