Mean Irene

Some of you have seen this silly little picture I took to poke just a little fun at the earthquake media response this past week.  This was my "earthquake cleanup".  And now we have a Hurricane Irene bearing down on the East Coast especially Long Island.  The Albany area is not out of the woods either and we are thinking of all of you.  I will not be poking fun at Mean Irene.

Of course, this made me think about my hurricane experiences and I realized that almost ALL of them include the Dalpiaz clan!  Just after we were married in 1985, 21 Duffin Avenue and neighbors suffered significant damage from Hurricane Gloria in late September.  James immediately made preparations to drive home to help with the cleanup and I admit I did not understand this.  I tried to talk him out of it, but of course, he went and was even able to corral some friends and chainsaws.  That trip generated many stories that we now smile about. 

In August 1991, we were visiting Long Island and Hurricane Bob made a visit.  My recollection is that our trip home was delayed by a day and I was afraid we were going to miss the closing on our house.  But we didn't and today it makes another good story.  We recently reviewed some video footage of that storm in your Duffin Avenue backyard.

In August of 2004, Charley changed some of our travel plans in Florida.  We were staying with Kathleen and Nick after a Disney trip and helped them with Florida style hurricane prep.  I remember these preparations opening Ryan's eyes to the potential danger.  Then we decided to leave the coast and go to Nick's brother's house to watch the hurricane turn away and actually come closer to where we were.  We had peas and ditalini for the first time and it was a BIG hit with Amy and Ryan.  Another interesting story to tell in later years (or blogs).

So far as I know, we'll be riding out Irene by ourselves but we are thinking of you all! 

Gram Dalpiaz

I got thinking about your Mom and wondering what was the last picture I have of her -- and this is it.  I find it bittersweet that this is one of my favorites and now I've discovered it to be the last I have of her.  We are often reminded to say "I love you" as often as possible since you don't know if you'll get another chance, but I guess we don't think of pictures that way.  These days, it seems there are so many pictures everywhere that a "last" picture couldn't possibly be months old like this one is. 

Kathleen recently helped me find this one of Jean and your Mom on the beach.  I think I see the same smile! Rest in Peace.

Debt ceiling; Standard and Poor's credit rating; political footballs getting tossed back and forth across the legistlative aisle---it's kind of scary listening to the news lately.  My favorite part of the news pundits wisdom compares household finances with the gazillions of dollars of national budget and debt.  As if.

All this brings to mind a story I recently heard from the Freakonomics guys.  It just so happened I only heard the last part of the broadcast about the economics of parenting which discussed, in part, how becoming a parent is not based in sound financial theories.  Some of the discussion included how much effort some parents put forth to keep their children safe from statistically low threats such as being kidnapped by a stranger while perhaps not putting forth the same level of effort to avoid much more common dangers like a backyard pool.  If parents applied economic theories to parenting, resources might better be applied more toward water safety than stranger danger.

I found it intriguing and sensible except for the other story at the top of the newsline that day:  Leiby Kletzky had just been found dismembered after apparently accepting help from a stranger on his very first walk home alone from school.  My heart just broke for his family. It was very difficult not to think of Leiby during this broadcast.  Such advice makes great sense---until it doesn't. Nothing makes sense when an innocent 8 year old dies scared and alone at the hands of a stranger.

Addressing why people want to become parents when it makes so little practical sense was another aspect covered in this discussion.  I could not answer that question:  why did I want to become a parent?  I have no idea.  I just knew I wanted to but I have no idea why.  It is expensive financially and emotionally.  All those resources spent and the time flashes by in the blink of an eye.  Not always a good return on the investment if you are judged by personal belongings or the state of your household. 

Of course you don't know this at the beginning even if you did listen to the Freakonomics show.  You read books, you listen to child experts, you follow the current child rearing standards and you open yourself to an experience that can't be described.  Or documented in an accounting journal.  You raise your own debt ceiling many many times until the child is on his or her own.  Your credit rating might suffer.  You and your spouse might disagree throughout.  You react to those news stories about isolated cases of children kidnapped by strangers and a whole host of other threats to your child's well being. 

But I don't think I'm the only parent in our group who feels very very wealthy.  I know it might not have made financial sense to become a parent, but I do lots of things that go against current economic advice.  None of those things have made me feel as enriched as I do when I think about our little family.  And I hope the same for all of you today and in the future. 

Sons of Man

I think I alluded to this earlier, but I keep coming back to the images that stood out most to me over the wedding festivities these last few weeks.  And that is how satisfying it is to see these kids we watched grow up become real live adults caring for their own families.  Danielle seems so natural with Miles--so assured and calm.

This especially stood out for me with the boys though.  Seeing Jake and Brian take on the role of husband and father keeps coming back to my mind's eye as the most wondrous moments of the family time together.

1995 Sons of Man

This seems to help sum it up for me as I contemplate Ryan's passage into young adulthood:

In learning you will teach
And in teaching you will learn
You'll find your place beside the
ones you love
Oh, and all the things you dreamed of
The visions that you saw
Well, the time is drawing near now
It's yours to claim it all

 

From Disney's Tarzan Son of Man

Finding their place beside the ones they love: