Breast pumps, Binghamton and BOOM

This will take the form of a rant.  You have been warned.  The TSA has pushed me to my limit this week demonstrating its bully-like personality. 

It started with the elementary school principal leaving Hawaii who tried to follow the "no liquid" rules and brought empty bottles and a breast pump for her flight.  No No No.  Security risk unless she could prove the empty bottles were intended for breast milk.  So she filled the bottles in the public bathroom and suddenly she presented no national security risk.  Really?

Now, when I hear such stories, I go right to the official TSA blog to amuse myself with how the particular incident will be spun.  Responses are typically along the lines of "Hey, we're just doing our best to keep you safe.  Do you know how many crazy people there are out there?"  But, this time, there was an apology.  Perhaps you heard about it.  An apology from the TSA makes the news.

But another recent post drew my attention.  It was addressing a viral video supposedly demonstrating how to "beat" the body scanners.  The blogger says that scanners are "one of the best tools available to detect metallic and non-metallic items, such as… you know… things that go BOOM."  Can you imagine what would happen to an airline passenger who made such a comment?  I'm quite certain immediate travel plans would change immediately.  But apparently it's OK for the TSA to make BOOM jokes.  Not the average passenger.


Apparently airlines and the TSA have a "thin blue line" similar to police to protect members who go rogue.  The flight attendant's recent outburst on a flight leaving Dallas led to a physical struggle during which another flight attendant was injured.  Mental stability issues have been mentioned.  No charges will be filed.  However, a similar incident involving a 19 year old resulted in federal charges.  Mental stability issues have been mentioned.  Federal charges.  Of course, I'm just taking what's written and reported as gospel truth about these incidents, but I'm not seeing the equity.  


Sometime between reading about the breast feeding mother and hearing about the flight attendant, I read the On the Road column in the New York Times describing the writer's 82 year old mother in law's airline journey from Tuscon to Binghamton.  You can't get there (Binghamton) from here (Tucson) so it was going to be a long day regardless.  But this poor woman ended up stuck at Dulles on a Saturday night.  

One of the other stranded passengers talked to the United agent at the service counter after they'd been told that Tuesday was the earliest they could have themselves a spiedie sandwich in good ole Binghamton.  She wasn't happy with the 72+ hour delay so generously offered by the airline.  The agent said in response: "Listen, if you don't stop complaining I could call the police because I feel insulted."  Now, perhaps you thought that quote was going to end with the word "threatened".  But NO--the person felt 'insulted' and felt that warranted a call to the police. Seems a bit over wrought to me but calling the police to the airport is no small event.  

I'm not comfortable with the level of authority that's been granted in these everyday areas of our lives to organizations (such as the TSA) in the name of protecting the general public.  It feels as though we are being assaulted from within.  If this blog rant should make its way to the TSA (and I'm trusting my family members probably won't do that)  I'm sure I'll never be allowed on a plane.  But that's OK because I am one single passenger who will make alternate plans.  For my own safety.  I have a tendency to insult.

Daydream Believing

I don't know how the teen idol phase of adolescence passed in your house back in the day, but I think it was very typical at our house.  And by that I mean that we girls were crazy for Davy Jones and the Monkees.  I can remember very clearly watching the clock tick down to showtime on Monday nights anxiously awaiting the NBC peacock to appear (in black and white). 

My dad hated that we enjoyed The Monkees.  He was dismissive of their music (knowing facts I was blissfully unaware of) and generally peeved that we were ga-ga over the show and the four boys.  I don't mean that he was amusingly annoyed.  No--it was outright disgust.  We watched it and loved them anyhow. 

Teen idols come and go.  This past week, one went--Davy Jones died and the media world seemed to fall all over itself noting the occasion and sharing factoids new to me.  I did not know The Monkees were fashioned after the Beatles film A Hard Day's Night.  I knew that Davy Jones gained acclaim in  Oliver! but did not know that he appeared on the same Ed Sullivan Show as the Beatles to perform a number from that show.  (*as an aside, I've heard some other stories about the acts that appeared that night as well which is an interesting story all by itself since no one ever thinks about that part of the night.) 

Nostalgic teen idolatry moved me to stop for a minute to mourn his death.  I was stunned by the level of coverage.  Others apparently held Davy Jones' influence in similar esteem.  I'm sure it's largely because we're all "of a certain age" but I can't help but kind of chuckle to think that my dad is hearing the same and perhaps even forced to stand by as Davy is greeted into the heavenly fold.  I had shut The Monkees away in a little drawer in my memory banks in adult deference to my dad's huffing and puffing.  But now I am seeing a whole other side to the story and it keeps bringing me back to those years as a awkward naive pre teen.  It's a bit disconcerting.

I've mentioned The Occasional CEO blog before and he has a post the describes this feeling in a much more adroit manner.  The Unexpected Turn (Roller Coasters, Past and Future) more effectively describes this feeling of having one foot in the past and one foot in the present.  Family history research is an excellent means to experiencing constant unexpected turns.  I hope you took a few seconds to note Davy's passing and consider his place in your past.  It speaks to the present and to the future. 

No Charlemagne for you!

No Charlemagne family history connections for you---yet.  Apparently there are those that consider it "hot stuff" to brag descendancy from this leader of the Holy Roman Empire.  Although "He was temperate in eating and drinking, abominated drunkenness, and kept in good health despite every exposure and hardship.”, he was also brutal in his quest to spread Christianity.  But no connections for you yet.  


NPR blogger Robert Krulwich recently discussed the popularity of shared Charlemagne ancestry and brought to mind a very interesting mathematical reality.  Theoretically, you can calculate your ancestors by doubling the numbers for each generation back.  For example, 10 generations means 1024 ancestors (which isn't too far from the total number I currently have in the combined Dalpiaz/Ryan tree as well as the approximate number of Dalpiaz generations I have listed so far).  So, back to the time of Charlemagne (48 generations give or take) each person would have 281.5 TRILLION ancestors.  See the problem?  There weren't even a trillion people on earth in the year 800 AD.


So, now what?  Of course, even though you still have 281.5 Trillion grandparents of some level, each isn't a different individual.  Cousins marry, for example, and pretty soon you're tripping over the same people in more than one place in your tree.  


The good news is that genealogy is finite.  There comes a point where no records are available and you can put all the names you want to into those 281.5 trillion slots on the tree, but without records to document proof, it's like a hangman game--just filling in the blanks to win the game.  


This is described as "pedigree collapse", which is the phrase that came to mind today when I read that cell phone providers are running out of airwaves to support all the SmartPhone data plans out there.  Called "spectrum crunch" (sounds like a breakfast cereal), this problem highlights that the wireless spectrum can't support promised services as it is a finite resource.  Apparently Smartphones are infinite or this problem wouldn't exist (suggesting a quick and sensible solution).  

Regardless, perhaps wireless providers will be forced to collapse and marry its cousin.  Verizon, meet T Mobile.  Or we could just send Charlemagne. 

Wallaby My Valentine?

Happy Valentine's Day this week. Some of you heard about our recent visit to the local zoo to participate in their "Courtship Tails" Valentine event. I saw it listed in the paper and considered that we'd be honoring Amy in our celebration by taking part so off we went.  Four couples are treated to some stories of the zoo animals and their mating and breeding habit. 

Perhaps I should have known we were in a little bit of trouble when they whipped out the camera and had us pose for a nice cozy picture practically before we removed our jackets.  We pondered about the other three couples--my guess being that they would all look just like us--people with nothing much better to do on a Saturday afternoon in the dead of winter.  When we entered the room, two other couples had already arrived--a lesbian couple and a gay couple (these guys were visiting from Long Island, believe it or not).  I thought "OK, not exactly just like us but a fair representation for such a gathering".  The fourth couple arrived and off we went for the tour.

Our guide was very knowledgeable about the mating and breeding of a wide range of zoo animals.  Most of the animals weren't doing much of anything to demonstrate technique for us, but we did learn that the animals miss visitors while the zoo is closed over the winter months.  I'll spare you the slithery snake facts (groan and shiver--me, not the snake) but will share one interesting breeding fact about the wallaby.  A wallaby fetus stays dormant until the mother's pouch has been cleared of its most recent occupant.  One joey leaves the pouch and the very next minute the next one is staging itself for birth in about a month.

It was only the wallabies that were showing any romantic gestures while we were there.  The female did not seem altogether interested, batting the males away rather ineffectively with her short little front arms.  I was reminded of something there.........oh yes, romance in the 7th grade hallway.  Visitors walk by the wallaby exhibit to get back stage with the penguins and many of our group members were already cooing over the penguins when the male wallaby managed to get himself on top of the female.  One of the guys in our group frantically tried to call the others back.  "This is what we came to see--come back!  They're doing it!" echoed across the nearly empty zoo. 

It was fun and we were treated to wine tasting, chocolates and red velvet cupcakes (red velvet for the reindeer--clever).  Each couple was interviewed by the local news. See it here (don't know who that grey haired couple is, but they seem nice) Great fun was had by those who wondered if Jim was able to speak for himself.  This was shortly after they asked how long we'd been married and he couldn't answer without checking inside his wedding ring and doing some serious math.    They didn't show that part and now you have the "back stage" view of our visit.

Except for one more detail--as that fourth couple got in their car to leave, I noticed their license plate said JUST BFF.  I had to laugh to myself as I thought that kind of skewed the demographics of our group a bit.

Guide to Super Bowl Halftime 2012 for those over 40

I did not see the finger.  I'll say that right off to get that part out of the way.  Neither did I see Janet Jackson's mishap 8 (really?) years ago as I was hanging curtains.  This time I was watching but I did not see the big moment.  Damn.  I watched the entire thing and missed nearly the only part everyone is talking about today. 


I was proud of Madonna.  There was some talk that she was too old for the Super Bowl halftime show.  Didn't look like it to me, but I admit my admiration for her grew significantly as I noticed she was carefully moving around.  Like a 53 year old woman at center field at the Super Bowl should.  And her hair looked so nice! 

I cannot be the only one who needs a guide to the rest of the glitterati that appeared during the show.  I freely admit being hopelessly out of touch and am providing this guide for those of you in the same boat (whether you are admitting it or not).

The only other one I kind of recognized (but no one else in my house was too sure about) was the guy from 
The Voice:  Cee Lo Green

It was a little weird that Madonna got down on her knees to this southern hip hop performer, but she knows better than I.  His new album is called Lady Killer.  I don't think so.


Nicki Manaj --  Just last year she was named Billboard's Rising Star and this year it's the Super Bowl with Madonna. Not too bad for a girl born in Trinidad then moved to Queens when she was only 5!  

British singer M.I.A. (I guess it's pronounced Mia).  Best known for a 2007 song Paper Planes which was nominated for a Grammy and featured in the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack.  I can't show her picture because, well, you know--this is a family blog.

Then there's LMFAO.  Yes, I know what that means.   They are known for electro pop party rock style music.  And, again I can't show their picture.  Not because this is a family blog but because those outfits should not be reproduced in any manner.  Go ahead and make fun.  Outfits were horrible.  I'd rather see Janet Jackson's breast.

Bazinga!

"Bazinga!" is the phrase popularized by Dr. Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory  to express "gotcha" so it seems an appropriate title for this blog post as a recent episode gave me the idea.  Sheldon and Amy Farrah Fowler were recording their new video "Fun with Flags" and one of the notes displayed on his chart said: Your Father's Grandfathers' Flags. And I thought that seemed like a great idea for a blog post.  Little did I know what I was getting myself into. 

(With apologies to Thomas for historical inaccuracies and vague details)  Your father's grandfathers were Jacob Messa and Giuseppe Dalpiaz.  Jacob Messa was born in Bari Italy in 1880 and the Kingdom of Italy flag's reign was just coming to its end.

I am unclear as to why this flag became obsolete in 1880 (showing my historical lack of knowledge) but the Italian national flag for this time period looks different from the Italian flags seen today prominently displayed especially for Columbus Day.

This flag's life span was 1861-1943.  But a nice safe bet is the flag of Bari:

When Jacob died alone in that hospital in Ohio after falling from the railroad tracks into a freezing creek in 1936, the hospital was no doubt flying a 48 star US flag.

Things get a little murkier with Giuseppe Dalpiaz who was born in Tassullo on 1869 just as Italy was on the cusp of unification.  The 1869 Austria Hungary flag was brand new for its subjects and I believe the Dalpiaz family would have seen this flag

By 1942 when Giuseppe died, the flag of Italy above was coming to the end of its life as well.  It's interesting that his life span very nearly matches these great changes in Italian history. 

This research was a great deal more interesting than I expected it would be especially as I did the Ryan flags as well with similar conclusions.  So I guess this is where the BAZINGA comes in.  I should have known the history of the flags would speak to the political and social history experienced by our ancestors, yet I found myself surprised and touched by their place in global history.  BAZINGA indeed.

Glenn Ford

I don't watch westerns very often as they are not my favorite kind of movie but we turned to the 1957 version of 3:10 to Yuma by chance yesterday to catch the last half hour or so.  I watched the more recent version of the movie urged on by my sister who extolled its virtues and convinced me to give it a try.  I enjoyed it very much and have watched it more than once (though I can't find the DVD today when I want it again--Ryan, is it in  your collection at Cortland?).  I thought the older version did a great job of building suspense at the end even though I'd only seen that brief portion of the story.

As we are watching it, James mentions that Glenn Ford was your mother's favorite actor.  He didn't know why, but I said "Of course he was--he was HOT!"  He kind of remembers your mom watching movies downstairs and this would have been before the days of AMC or TMC so catching a favorite actor must have been a special joy. 

Apparently Glenn Ford was "the greatest actor never to get nominated for an Oscar" but he was lucky enough (crafty enough?) to appear in many great films along with other well known box office draws.  His persona was one of everyman but his personal life was rife with love affairs.  He looked pretty good here!

One of my Mom's favorites was Van Johnson, who apparently was very successfully pushed and designed to appear as a sex symbol to the bobby soxers of the time, but (as they say today) he played for the other team--something I'm pretty sure my mom never knew.  But it speaks to how screen personalities, politicians and other public figures are molded and packaged as products for consumer consumption. 

In this case, I prefer to look at Glenn Ford over Russell Crowe although I liked the conclusion to the more modern version better.  Now you're curious and are going to have to find out for yourself, aren't you?