New Normal

I think you've heard that our friend Ron died last week while we were with Kathleen and Nick.  The fact that I don't have to explain who Ron is speaks to the huge influence he's had on our lives.  I'm not finding words adequate for this.  But of course that's not going to stop me here.

Ron's memorial is tonight and I plan to speak.  Not an easy task when you don't have appropriate verbiage to properly express thoughts.  Another friend who can't attend sent me her thoughts and it is titled What Would Ron Do?.  Mine incorporates common Ron-response: Wait!....What? Sigh.  Shake head. 

Some of his actions had us laughing and others could be irritating.  That's life in close proximity.  As Amy stated, it never would even throw her off to awaken in the morning to find him seated at our kitchen table having coffee.  Even if we weren't there.  Especially if we weren't there.  Ryan was never very surprised to be shaken out of bed by Ron.  Our guests would have to come to terms with this other adult having complete access to our home at nearly any time of day--though most regularly about 30 minutes after he'd had his breakfast at the diner.  Then he'd make his most reliable rest stop on the way to his house...our downstairs bathroom.  Wait!  What?  Sigh.  Shake head.

One day I came home from work to find his backhoe in my yard.  He'd removed our old oil tank (yeah) and then decided we needed a garden in its place.  So he proceeded to create a garden.  And hand me the bill.  Always something discounted from Lowe's.  Wait! What?  Sigh.  Shake head.

Another time Amy tested positive for strep and was required to stay home for 2 days.  Ron was recovering from surgery and offered to stay at the house with her so I could go to work.  I accepted gratefully.  When I got home, I discovered he'd washed my kitchen floor.  Wait!  What?  Sigh.  Shake head.

Just a few days ago, he left a broken tombstone at my house.  Wait!  What?  Sigh.  Shake head.  Less said about that, the better.

And literally hundreds of similar moments filled the years since I met him 34 years ago.  It's a huge loss.  It feels like something really big came to an abrupt halt.  A way of life.  A certain work ethic.  A particular kind of community living.  My own work life.  Damn him.  I know he prepared well for this eventuality but being prepared doesn't always equate being ready. I find peace in the fact that he died actively working on his farm. A good death if there is such a thing.

But it's a "new normal" I guess.  I Googled the term just for fun as I was contemplating this post.  Nothing positive came up as a "new normal":  search results included megafires, lawlessness, mass unemployment and the like.  Se we'll move forward with a hole in our hearts and the knowledge that we were very fortunate indeed in this lifetime.

 1996 Summer party--Ron right behind Ryan and Amy

 Just a few weeks ago.  June 15 2013

 1994

 2001