I plan to host Thanksgiving this year and had done NOTHING to get ready so off to the grocery store I went on Saturday November 10 (the reason for giving the date should become clear soon). Since both Ryan and Amy will be home, I was also focused on stocking up the cupboards with their favorites so this was going to be one full grocery cart. I wandered the store filling the basket and looking for the star of the show Turkey. I buy frozen and expected there to be a pretty good selection available except I couldn't find them. The basket is full to overflowing and I still haven't put the turkey in there. So, I asked and was directed. I actually had to ask twice because I was still not finding the turkeys. Feeling a fool, I approached a clerk at a freezer door and noticed "ah ha! turkeys!". The clerk stopped me in my track saying "You don't want those--they're breasts." True. "Go to the meat room, they are unloading those turkeys off the truck right now."
Meat room? I was feeling extraordinarily thick headed by now and couldn't process "meat room" and reluctantly asked. She meant the meat counter so over I go and ask. Again. "Those turkeys won't be here until tomorrow." There are no other turkeys.
Why does everyone keep saying "those turkeys?" And why are there no turkeys in this store on a Saturday 12 days before Thanksgiving? I just cannot believe I'm in the store to do the Thanksgiving shopping and there are no turkeys to be had. And not because there was a run on turkeys, but because "those turkeys" aren't available until tomorrow (Sunday). I just want a turkey. Please and thank you.
Turns out there was some kind of free turkey promotion whereby they would be made available to qualifying customers starting on Sunday. But not Saturday if you just want a freakin' turkey. The check out clerk asked if I found everything I needed. Poor girl. She was just doing her job.
Back to the store on Sunday. Saturday's purchase was large enough to make me one of the qualifying customers. Whoo hoo. I don't really care. Just let me have a turkey. I grab a turkey out of the freezer chest guarded by the guy from the meat room and head to the check out. You can imagine where this is going by the tone of the story.
A helpful cashier pulled us out of line to offer to check us out on the self-serve line. Whereby it promptly becomes the opposite of self-serve. There were a number of scanning errors (I was glad to see even the cashiers have trouble with those things) that slowed up the whole process. I was so close to getting Turkey to the car. We could both see the door. I wanted to grab and run but I restrained myself. Well, James did the restraining, but anyhow..........My turkey was not one of "those turkeys", did I want to go back and get the right turkey? No thank you very much. Just let us out of here with Turkey please I beg you.
This brings to mind one Thanksgiving past where I unintentionally ended up with 3 turkeys from this same chain due to the same promotion. And this year nearly zero turkeys. I guess there really is great balance in the universe. Unless you want a turkey 12 days before Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving 1997
Better luck with turkeys to you all.
1 comment:
And I was mad at Walmart last week because when I pulled up, all the poinsettias were outside and there were no more pie pumpkins in the store on November 9th.
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