Debt ceiling; Standard and Poor's credit rating; political footballs getting tossed back and forth across the legistlative aisle---it's kind of scary listening to the news lately.  My favorite part of the news pundits wisdom compares household finances with the gazillions of dollars of national budget and debt.  As if.

All this brings to mind a story I recently heard from the Freakonomics guys.  It just so happened I only heard the last part of the broadcast about the economics of parenting which discussed, in part, how becoming a parent is not based in sound financial theories.  Some of the discussion included how much effort some parents put forth to keep their children safe from statistically low threats such as being kidnapped by a stranger while perhaps not putting forth the same level of effort to avoid much more common dangers like a backyard pool.  If parents applied economic theories to parenting, resources might better be applied more toward water safety than stranger danger.

I found it intriguing and sensible except for the other story at the top of the newsline that day:  Leiby Kletzky had just been found dismembered after apparently accepting help from a stranger on his very first walk home alone from school.  My heart just broke for his family. It was very difficult not to think of Leiby during this broadcast.  Such advice makes great sense---until it doesn't. Nothing makes sense when an innocent 8 year old dies scared and alone at the hands of a stranger.

Addressing why people want to become parents when it makes so little practical sense was another aspect covered in this discussion.  I could not answer that question:  why did I want to become a parent?  I have no idea.  I just knew I wanted to but I have no idea why.  It is expensive financially and emotionally.  All those resources spent and the time flashes by in the blink of an eye.  Not always a good return on the investment if you are judged by personal belongings or the state of your household. 

Of course you don't know this at the beginning even if you did listen to the Freakonomics show.  You read books, you listen to child experts, you follow the current child rearing standards and you open yourself to an experience that can't be described.  Or documented in an accounting journal.  You raise your own debt ceiling many many times until the child is on his or her own.  Your credit rating might suffer.  You and your spouse might disagree throughout.  You react to those news stories about isolated cases of children kidnapped by strangers and a whole host of other threats to your child's well being. 

But I don't think I'm the only parent in our group who feels very very wealthy.  I know it might not have made financial sense to become a parent, but I do lots of things that go against current economic advice.  None of those things have made me feel as enriched as I do when I think about our little family.  And I hope the same for all of you today and in the future. 

Sons of Man

I think I alluded to this earlier, but I keep coming back to the images that stood out most to me over the wedding festivities these last few weeks.  And that is how satisfying it is to see these kids we watched grow up become real live adults caring for their own families.  Danielle seems so natural with Miles--so assured and calm.

This especially stood out for me with the boys though.  Seeing Jake and Brian take on the role of husband and father keeps coming back to my mind's eye as the most wondrous moments of the family time together.

1995 Sons of Man

This seems to help sum it up for me as I contemplate Ryan's passage into young adulthood:

In learning you will teach
And in teaching you will learn
You'll find your place beside the
ones you love
Oh, and all the things you dreamed of
The visions that you saw
Well, the time is drawing near now
It's yours to claim it all

 

From Disney's Tarzan Son of Man

Finding their place beside the ones they love:

Back to what passes for normal around here

Congratulations Monet, Brian and Dylan!  We are very happy for you as well as for your families.  It was great to see everyone.  Thanks so much to Pat and Steve for being such good hosts for any number of last minute mostly unannounced gatherings around their pool.  I'm so glad that Jake and Lindsay could join us so that the out of towners could meet Joey.  Special kudos to the management of the Hotel Hartman for making it look so easy to host 8 extra people and get 3 young ladies and an unspecified number of "mature" ladies spiffed up and into the cars on time!  It was a weekend for the record books.

Despite record breaking heat, I think Kathleen and Nick had a pretty good time here in the Greater Binghamton area.  Nick helped James get the Mustang purring very nicely.  We took a ride to the Finger Lakes to visit some wineries (did you know some of them are NOT air conditioned?).  We spent a great day on the road visiting some local covered bridges in lovely rural Delaware County.  We were able to show Nick "the scene of the crime" in Walton where we were married.  Nick remembered his way to his uncle's property in South Kortright, a portion of which has since become The BiblioBarn for rare and used books!  A very cool find.  And it's for sale:  only somewhere in the vicinity of $325000 which includes this:

It was a great day, a great (hot) week and a wonderful wedding weekend!  Thank you all!

The Good Ole Summertime

A little treat to enjoy as the big wedding weekend approaches:

A classic

Linda and Pat (?)

Little sisters torturing big sister is my guess.

Hot in Harpursville

Who knew?  James was doing some cleaning (no, that's not the "who knew" part) and found this picture of himself and Betty White!

He's standing there with Betty White and some Queen of Somthing Or Other and it's this Paul Lavalle that signed his autograph.  Apparently Paul Lavalle was one of America's best known bandmasters and conductors (who knew?) 

At the time, Betty White was better known as Sue Ann Nivens from the Mary Tyler Moore Show.  You've got to admire that posture:  shoulders back, bosom forward.   We could all take a lesson.

Think how far James and Betty have some since then (not so much with the other 3 I think).  Who knew?

Deja Vu anyone?

What (who) do you see here?

Would it help at all if I mentioned it's from 1965???  James found some old slides when he was cleaning so you all are in for some real treats in the next few days!

I cannot be the only one who sees Brad in this picture.  WOW!

Report from Charlotte NC

Whooooooo me?  NASCAR??

I'm surprised these two owls from the Charlotte NC Raptor center do not have numbers and racing stripes.  We had a very nice visit to North Carolina last week but Charlotte is certainly all NASCAR all the time.  And I don't mean maybe.  We went to the NASCAR Hall of Fame, the Speedway and the Hendrick Auto shop.  It strikes me that your dad would have really enjoyed the auto shop especially.

Our tour guide specialized in NASCAR for tourists and she stated that her goal was to have non-fans hesitate one or two seconds longer before flipping the channel next time NASCAR appeared on TV.  She succeeded.  It was actually very interesting.  

We drove to Charlotte and stopped in Winchester VA to spend the night.  We went to the "Old Town" to have dinner at an old inn that was supposed to have an interesting history.  As we walked the streets of Winchester, James kept saying "this looks so familiar".  He asked the waitress, and yes, indeed Winchester is the site of the Apple Blossom parade (which he remembered very clearly).  

 

I found it interesting that he remembered Apple Blossom but not Winchester.  I recently learned that Civil War battles were named differently by the north and the south:  one named battles by the name of the city or area (Winchester) and the other would name the battle by some feature of the area (Apple Blossom). Hmmm........

See you all very soon!  On Long Island (name).  For the wedding (feature).  Which of us do you think has the weekend named how?