For the first time in 17 years, we aren't taking a "First Day of School" picture.  I honestly don't know what happened; how my life got to this stage with me barely noticing the months and years go by.  You just put your head down and do what needs to get done day to day then POOF --it's gone and you don't need to put your head down except to regain your composure when it's time to leave the dorm room.

The house is too quiet and the afternoon hours drag their way into the evening hours.  The quiet has a different tone now that Amy's starting her life as a real grown up and Ryan has started college.  It's scary and it's deep and I suspect I'll get used to it.  In the past 17 years there have been times I said to myself  "My mother told me there'd be days like this" (she didn't) and "Someday I'm going to miss this" racket chaos and confusion.  How did we get to "Someday" so fast?

Ryan wanted to come home this first weekend; he and I both knew it was too soon.  It was one of those times when you do what's incredibly hard for you for their benefit and I told him I thought it wasn't a good idea.  When we discovered he was scheduled to work the entire weekend at the Mets, a lovely door labeled "Excuse" opened right up.

Ryan is adjusting really well to college and I'd misjudged his reasons for wanting to come home.  It healed my heart to see him and hear his stories about his classes, his room and his friends.  For these few days, we each got to judge the other's state of mind and the silence slipped away.  Taking him back was a joy since I knew he was happy, ready and able to start this next phase with confidence. 

I think I can face this opening day with this visit in my memory bank.  How ironic that this weekend was so healing yet it went against every single piece of advice given to parents of college students.  Sometimes you just have to go with what's in your heart in order to mend it.

 This is especially for Linda and Jean--I'm right here with you!